Yachting as psychotherapy. Part 2: What does the sea hide?

A little less than a year ago, a new article was published on our website. article "Yachting as therapy". At that time, the permanent author of the articles did not even think that this material could have a second part. However, it is exactly this part that is in front of you now. 

The continuation is based on an article by Nikki Henderson for Yachting World magazine. In it, the experienced yachtswoman shares her concerns about what yachtsmen and sailors are ultimately looking for when they go out to sea again. The key idea can be called a line from the description of the article: “[Many go to sea] to glorify themselves and their lives. The more important question is: will you like what you see at sea?”

This article is an adaptation of the material "Most of our life on land we spend hiding from ourselves. But at sea there is no escape" from the Yachting World website.

Note: Halfway to the Caribbean

Greetings from the Atlantic, from the equator of our journey to the Caribbean! This is my third attempt at writing this column. The first attempt was interrupted by a squall. We underestimated its strength and had to go down the waves in the company of 19 knots of wind. I spent the rest of the watch being overly attentive – as if attentiveness could atone for our carelessness in the 35 knots of wind.

My second attempt at writing this article was during the night watch, from 3am to 6am. I drank several cups of coffee, ate snacks, and wandered aimlessly through the settings on my B&G chartplotter. The night left two routine entries in the log, summing up to an uneventful watch. I eventually decided that writing my thoughts that night would be beyond me, so I went out on deck to admire the stars.

With Starlink, I quickly realized that I could stay focused on my work and the news. What’s more, I could simultaneously write an article for all yachting and sailing enthusiasts and watch the Vendée Globe unfold almost live. Solo racers speed through dangerous icebergs, try to win at the cost of super-efforts, and fight the elements like adults — in short, their problems lie on a completely different plane. 

After thinking about how their struggle and journey differs from mine, I am finally getting around to finishing this article…

Sailing on a yacht and the harsh reality

Sailing is a way to look at your life and your "problems" from a completely different perspective. Nikki's friend, yachtswoman Sophie, once said that sailing is a real test for your romantic relationships. 

It exposes all the cracks and fractures, reveals deep feelings and destroys what has no reliable support. You do not go to sea to save your relationship. You go to sea to find out what needs to be worked on! And it's not just about romance.

Going to sea changes your relationship with reality. In hours of discussions, Nikki and her partner George compared the lifestyle on board with that of the US Navy's Maritime Center. As it turns out, there are some similarities between yachting and the front lines.

Yachting is about real life and real problems. The "reality" of the problems does not lie in the devaluation of the dramas and tragedies of people on land, but in the fact that problems at sea are of a different nature. For example, a breakdown of a desalinator in the middle of the sea is a real problem. 

Strong and angry winds, a fierce sea, sails torn to shreds and a broken mast - these are the risk zones that require your utmost attention every day on board a yacht. And, unfortunately, falling overboard and getting lost at sea is the same reality for absolutely any yachtsman.

Reality is different for everyone...

But it is this harsh reality that brings us back to the present, to the very moment that many people with anxiety and depression are missing. But the question here is not about sending a person with real problems on a solo trip around the world. 

On the contrary, yachting is a unique opportunity to discover new horizons even in coastal sailing. To break away from the artificial reality and feel the real, present moment. Where everything you do matters not because society says so, but because it is necessary for your own survival.

The lack of familiar comforts, safety and convenience, as well as the concentration that the sea requires from you, takes away our time to worry about everything that usually causes us that same anxiety. Immersion in work moments, social constructs, our car, our appearance... When we finally break free from the shackles of "reality" and get into the present moment, the question involuntarily arises about what is really important for each of us.

The sea reveals the truth

Nikki has found her answer to what the sea reveals to us and what is most important to take away from any trip: “Over my long career, I have seen that all of us, yachtsmen, essentially have the same answer to what is important to us. If you strip away all the excesses, even if you strip away the bare minimum of drink, food and a dry bed, the most important thing for us is… Love.

Love for people, pets, special places, those trinkets we bought at a distant resort - it is in the middle of the sea that you can most clearly understand who or what you miss most in life."

Naturally, we are talking about love in a broader sense of the word. The romantic aspect is still there, but we will focus on the absolute meaning of this concept. As Nikki aptly noted, it is at sea, far from people and the bustle of the world, that we can understand what is truly important to us. 

It's funny that you don't have to cross seas or storm oceans to do this. It's enough to spend a little time with yourself, without the external white noise of everyday life. However, we learn more than just good things at sea. The sea is what helps us see the darkness within ourselves.

Through hardship to the stars

Darkness is neither bad nor good. Darkness is the absence of light. Can a moonless night be bad? And the other side of the moon, hidden from human eyes? 

It is interesting that it is in the darkness that we hide those parts of ourselves that we would like to forget. Unpleasant memories, stress, resentments, dark sides of character - all this is tightly packed somewhere in the attic, where it gathers dust for years. We spend most of our lives on land running from what we so skillfully locked in that very attic. However, there will be no salvation in the sea either.

Imagine all that negativity hidden in the attic in the form of a tiger, or better yet, a whole pack of hungry tigers. While you live your normal life on land, you can leave the house and securely lock the attic with the tigers, even if you have to go home at night. But when you go out to sea, you will inevitably take the tigers with you - only now it will not be them, but you who will be locked in with them.

The confined, enclosed space and the need to constantly be in the moment will force you to come face to face with tigers. Even with Starlink and modern entertainment, you won’t be able to avoid looking in the mirror. At sea, we are at the mercy of Mother Nature, and so we are inevitably forced to look closely at ourselves.

These thoughts are nothing new. Every sailor is familiar with hours, weeks and months of loneliness among the endless blue expanses of the World Ocean. Yes, many yachtsmen begin to show interest in yachts because they want new sensations, variety. Someone is chasing their childhood dream. And not all of them realize that in the process they will have to undergo a course of psychotherapy, which will be given out along with the new boat. 

The sea is our mirror

Ultimately, it all comes down to the sea. Hundreds of works have been written about the sea, the sea occupies the minds of scientists, and true sailors remain devoted to the sea. The sea, the sea…

The sea, like any other powerful natural phenomenon, enchants us with its beauty and frightens us with its scale, but the true nature of these impressions lies in another plane. Observing this endless blue space gives not only an understanding of the real size of a person against the background of one small planet in the solar system, but also reveals the main secret - how deeply and on a large scale we ourselves can think.

The ocean and the sea are not really interested in us at all. They live by their own laws, their depths are teeming with life that is inaccessible to us, and the currents control the climate of the entire planet. We are outside the brackets of this equation. Actually, that is why we, yachtsmen, strive to get into this equation. To see it, to understand it, to grasp its scale. But the whole secret is that in an attempt to know the Sea, all we do is to know ourselves more and more deeply.

But there are no tigers...

No matter how long your yacht trip lasts – two weeks, a month or a year – you will come ashore as a different person. No one is talking about instant changes, no one is talking about a shift in understanding the world and yourself at all. But some elusive feeling will forever settle somewhere deep in your heart.

This is the beauty of yachting. We become one with nature, the yacht and what they can show us. Short cruises to the tourist spots of Italy, a journey along the canals of France, exploring the islands of Greece, crossing the Mediterranean and, finally, conquering the Pacific Ocean - each of these routes will open up new facets of life, and most importantly - new facets of yourself. 

The sea does not begin and end on the Beskaia coast, and yachts are not only built in shipyards. Between our ears is a very powerful thing that can transport us to the farthest corners of the Universe and allow us to feel the breath of a warm salty wind even if our body is deep on the continent. This same thing sometimes needs a light shake-up so that all the gears fall into place, and rusty springs start working properly again. And yachting is that shake-up.

Ultimately, sometimes it is going out to sea that allows you to open the door to the attic and realize that those same tigers have long since been gone.

The main lesson

However, behind all these high-flown epithets, we should not forget about another lesson: traveling is a great way to reboot. As practice shows, it is precisely the reboot in the company of loved ones that most people lack. Yes, the sea teaches discipline. Naturally, we regularly face difficulties. But these are the difficulties and discipline that allow us to discover new facets in ourselves, to feel a second wind. That is why we go to sea.

The main lesson of all sailing trips is in balance. Balance between yourself and the world around you. The balance that we are told about in films, books and music when they say that the main character has found peace in his soul. It is for this balance that people go to the other end of the world at the helm of a yacht.

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22.02.2025